Dr. Laura Anderson is a licensed clinical psychologist who is currently living and practicing psychology on the island of Kauai in Hawaii. She specializes in the provision of psychological services to children and families and in the delivery of competent cross-cultural services. She loves children and appreciates the challenges related to parenting them. Dr. Anderson has also lived and/or traveled extensively in Southern, Central and Northern Africa and feels blessed to have had opportunities to learn from Africa’s marvelous, complex and diverse teachings.
The task of talking about parenting in a concise and helpful way is a daunting one. Raising children is a mammoth 24-hour-a-day, life-long, job that cannot be neatly described, any more than the “cures” for parenting challenges can be easily prescribed. Furthermore, raising children in a “new” cultural setting, or when they are surrounded by values and lifestyles that are different from the ones you knew in your youth adds other dimensions of richness and difficulty. However, within the realm of child psychology, there are consistent themes in the factors that lead to raising happy, healthy, kind children who successfully navigate life’s demands. I often tell parents in my practice that they are the experts on their own children’s daily functioning (who could possibly know them better than you do?) but that I am an expert in theories on raising secure children and shaping their behavior as they grow. By “raising secure children” I mean guiding your children to be confident (but not arrogant), respectful, trustworthy, caring children who believe in their abilities to make their dreams come true. By “shaping their behavior” I mean that I provide parents with the strategies for giving children
what kids need so that they will do what parents want them to do. I will offer some information about recognized child development themes so that you can apply them with your specific knowledge of your family’s personalities and strengths.
This column will follow two themes: 1) how to meet the loftier long-term goal of raising “good kids” with whom you have good relationships by developing their self-esteem, instilling confidence, establishing moral values, and creating healthy communication with your child, and 2) how to develop effective coping strategies for daily challenges such as toileting, sibling rivalry, handling teasing, coping with family stressors, getting through morning routines before school and homework routines after school with no “meltdowns”, disciplinary strategies that work, and many more.
In summary, effective parenting is hard work and there is no magic wand to make the tough spots disappear. I hope that information shared here will help make parenting easier. The good news is that when you start with love for your children and the desire to learn more about how you can influence their development, you are well on your way to being the best parent you can be.
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